As a therapist, I often sit with people as they navigate difficult circumstances and emotions. I frequently present coping strategies, self-care techniques, and self-compassion exercises to my clients, with the hope of empowering them to live a values-based lifestyle. In the final weeks of July 2025, I experienced a dental emergency that left me down and out for several days. Persistent pain in the affected tooth made most activities impossible to complete. As a result, I spent several days at home recuperating. In the throes of dental adversity, I found myself presented with an opportunity to practice what I preach. I turned to some tried and true favorites to get me through the painful time.
Coping Strategies
Pain, whether it be physical, mental, or both, comes in varying degrees of intensity. When I experienced my dental issue, I used a Subjective Units of Distress (SUDS) Scale to rate my pain. This works with any type of pain or emotion. One can rate the severity of physical pain, anger, anxiety, depression, or any other painful experience with the SUDS scale. I like to use the numbers 0-10, but some people find images to be more helpful in describing their experience. I knew from my training as a therapist that if the intensity of my painful experience got to be a
rating of a seven or above, that TIPP skills could be useful. TIPP is an acronym for a distress tolerance skill from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), which stands for Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Paired Muscle Relaxation. TIPP skills are used when one needs to shift from one (distressed) state of being to another state, quickly.
When experiencing my dental conundrum, I relied heavily on temperature, namely, ice packs directly applied to my face, to shift my painful state of being to a more tolerable state or pain level. Not only did the ice calm my tooth pain, but it also shifted my emotional state from one of anxiety to calm. When my pain levels went down, so did my anxiety about the affected tooth. Temperature can be a powerful reset that almost shocks your system out of the present state of being to something else entirely.
I also used the paced breathing exercise as part of my strategy for coping with the pain. Again, this can be applied to physical, mental, or a combination of pain. For paced breathing, I like to use box breathing. Box breathing is a simple technique in which one breathes in slowly for a count of 4, holds their breath for a count of 4, breathes out slowly for a count of 4, and holds their out breath for a count of 4. For fun, you can draw a box in the air while you breathe, hold, breathe, and hold if you want. You may repeat this process as many times as needed to regulate your breathing pattern and shift your state of being. Paced breathing is an excellent way to ground yourself in the present moment by connecting to your breath and shifting focus away from the painful experience.
Self-Care Techniques
Recuperating from illness, injury, or distress can also be boring at times. Many times rest is required. This was the case for my dental distress. As a result, I found myself with lots of couch time unfolding before me. To make the most of this time I relied on several principles of behavioral activation to avoid falling into a state of low mood. Most notably, I tried to incorporate routine, enjoyable, and valued activities into my day as my energy levels would allow, while being mindful and intentional about what would feel like care to my ailing mouth.
For an enjoyable activity, the first thing I did was make my couch nest cozy. Cozy is my favorite state of being, and since I was spending so much time feeling bad, I wanted to counteract that feeling with coziness. I brought my favorite pillow and blanket to the couch for resting. I kept a cool fan blowing and lit my favorite (fall-scented) candle. I kept the lighting low and enhanced the ambiance with the glow of a salt lamp. This approach can be applied by anyone. Think of your favorite state of being, gather the items you have, and create that environment for yourself to recover in.
For valued activities, I found some low energy outlets to engage in. Depending on pain levels, I could engage with varying degrees of success. Some ways I spent my couch time were listening to audiobooks while completing word search puzzles, talking to family members about their days, and watching Happy Gilmore 2 on Netflix. When I had moments of less pain, I was able to complete household chores here and there, but ultimately, I had to prioritize physical wellbeing with lots of rest.
For routine activities, I visited my dentist, ate regular meals of soft food, stayed hydrated, took warm baths to soothe the aches and pains, and took naps when I was too tired to stay awake any longer. These were all activities that prioritized my healing and wellbeing while taking care of myself in the process.
Self-Compassion
One thing that I found especially hard during my time of convalescence was the guilt. In the modern era, productivity seems to be valued over rest in American culture. Taking an unexpected break to recover from dental disaster was not on my bingo card for July 2025. That being said, those were the circumstances I found myself in and heaping guilt upon myself for things outside of my control only made me feel worse. That’s where self-compassion came in for me. Self-compassion, made popular by Dr. Kristin Neff, has three components: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. An easy way to practice experiencing self-compassion is detailed in one of Dr. Neff’s self-compassion exercises, called “How Would You Treat a Friend?” The person completing the exercise is asked to detail their response to a friend going through a hard time versus their response to themselves going through a hard time, comparing the responses, and making a choice to treat oneself the same way they would treat their friend – with kindness. I applied the principles of this exercise to my time of recuperation and noticed a significant difference in the level of compassion I felt for myself and my circumstances.
Conclusion
Coping skills, self-care, and self-compassion can be powerful tools to help you through a period of being down and out. Engaging in activities such as those outlined here will empower you to care for yourself in ways that feel good and allow for the rest you need. Circumstances outside of your control do not define who you are. It is important to remember that you deserve care because you are valued and worthy – just for being you.