If you’re a new mom, you’ve probably heard the phrase, “It takes a village.” But what no one tells you is how hard finding that village can be. Between sleepless nights, feeding schedules, and navigating a completely new identity, the thought of meeting new people might sound like one more exhausting task on your already overflowing to-do list. And yet, mom friends might just be one of the most powerful forms of emotional support you can give yourself.
The transition to motherhood is one of the most profound psychological and physical shifts a person can experience. You’re adjusting not only to your baby’s needs but to a new version of yourself. That kind of transformation is beautiful, but it’s also deeply vulnerable. Having people who truly get it can be life changing.
Research tells us that social support is one of the strongest protective factors against postpartum depression and anxiety. When you’re surrounded by others who can validate your experience and offer empathy rather than judgment, it reduces isolation and boosts resilience. Mom friends can be a mirror, reflecting that you’re not failing but rather this stage is just hard.
But beyond the research, there’s something profoundly healing about those unfiltered, 3 a.m. text exchanges or stroller walks where you can admit, “I love my baby, but I miss my old self.” Mom friends become the people who can finish your sentences, share your laughter, and remind you that you’re not alone in the journey of motherhood.
Even though connection is crucial, making new friends as an adult, can feel awkward and intimidating. You might be running on fumes, dealing with postpartum body changes, or struggling with anxiety about doing things “right.” I often encounter mothers who feel guilty for wanting adult socialization when they “should” be focusing on their baby. But the truth is that investing in your relationships is investing in your baby. When you are emotionally supported, your nervous system is calmer, your patience deepens, and your capacity for joy grows. Connection is not a luxury but rather a form of self-care, for both you and your child.
So, how do you actually find these mom friends? A good place to start is to look for local parent groups or classes such as library story time, baby yoga, or a postpartum support group. Postpartum Support International has many great resources for connection that I often refer my clients to. Using social media is another great way to find mommy and me groups, infant clothing swaps, or meet up walking groups such as The Mom Walk Collective.
Motherhood is too big, too beautiful, and too hard to do alone. Mom friends are the ones who show up with snacks and empathy, who remind you that it’s okay if the laundry’s not done and that you’re doing an incredible job. They help transform the isolation of early motherhood into something softer, more connected, and more sustainable. Reach out, show up, and let others in because you deserve a village that holds you as you grow into this new chapter of life.