There’s a huge pile of books in the corner of my home office. Many of them have been read, others have been reread, and only a couple have yet to be read. But if you examine this pile close enough, you’ll notice that every single one of these books are about death and grief. Books about the biological and psychological process of dying, books about grief, books about death related careers and what we can learn from each one of them, and even books that discuss options about what can happen after death. If you know me, you know these two fundamental things about me: I’m a bookworm, and I don’t enjoy hot summer days. This means that every summer, you can probably find me catching up on my reading either indoors and making the most out of a summer storm, or under the shade of a tree somewhere while I complain about how hot it is every few pages. Below are three of my favorite books on grief and dying, and why I think they’re so awesome.
- Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore, PhD
This book talks about the pain of loss and the raw, heartbreaking path of grief after a loved one dies. The author, who in addition to being a grief counselor is also a Zen priest (which I think is beyond cool), draws from her own personal experience with grief and loss as well as her professional work to compassionately guide us into the world of traumatic grief. This book is not only a guide as we walk into the uncertain liminality of grief, but also a gentle companion that reminds us to turn toward our grief and tend to it. There are no rules or instructions for grief, and this book invites us to unlearn everything we thought we knew about it, and open our hearts to our own and each other’s grief as we process and honor it.
Why I think this book is awesome: This is a book for the bereaved as well as for every person that wants to learn how to support others in their grief. The chapters are short and easy to read, and the author’s style of storytelling makes you feel like you’re having tea with a dear friend and having hard but loving conversations.
- Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully by Julie McFadden, RN This is a book about death and the process of dying written by a hospice nurse. The author writes in a refreshingly honest way about the process of death, sharing what she has learned in her professional career and offering education, insight, tips, practical information, resources, and facts. This book is a guide for those going through the process of death- their own or a loved one’s- and those who want to know more about it but didn’t know how to ask.
Why I think this book is awesome: This book is the no-BS conversation with the cool, wise aunt that you always wanted to have, about one of life’s most taboo subjects. It gives advice, tales, opinions, and radically honest answers about the end of life.
- The Grieving Body by Mary-Frances O’Connor, PhD
You know how your Somatic therapist is always asking you where you feel this in your body? It’s because, in addition to the physical sensations that might accompany your feelings, your body really does keep the score. This book is an eloquently written guide to understanding the physical impact of grief on our bodies, from the heart and the immune system to the nervous system and beyond. The author writes from an evidence-based perspective and in a wise, compassionate way about the ways in which bereavement affects us. She shines a light on the physiological implications of grief and offers hope and insight on healing from loss and fostering connection during one of life’s loneliest experiences.
Why I think this book is awesome: This book was an eye-opening, thirst quenching read for my inner science nerd. It was fascinating to read and offered insight from the author’s research that helps you understand the effects of grief and the path to healing. This book goes beyond the physiological, and lands on the spiritual.
May your summer be filled with piles of books, and may the wisdom from these books illuminate your grief journey.