It may come as no surprise, but therapists often hold themselves to incredibly high standards Especially when first starting out, my schooling left me in the mindset of always having the perfect intervention, to never miss important details, or to consistently know the ‘right’ thing to do. If you add in comparison to seasoned clinicians, social media posts that seem littered with peoples ‘Moments where my therapist changed my life’, and the ever increasing pressure to ‘do better’ – you’ve got a really good recipe for imposter syndrome.
If you have ever left a session wondering, “Did I actually help?” or maybe you’ve thought, “One day they’ll realize I’m not experienced enough,” or “I should know exactly what to say.” These are common experiences of imposter syndrome.
In truth- my experiences in pursuit of licensure have shown me that a therapist isn’t effective because you have all the answers. Efficacy in the session room is built in strong therapeutic relationships; ones that facilitate the clients authenticity, collaboration, and curiosity.
Notice how I didn’t mention amazing one liners, wise sayings, or millions of prepared worksheets for every occasion. Especially when just starting out it is enough to hone skills of attunement, ethics, and active listening. It’s great to know CBT, IFS, ACT, and other interventions- but these are the building blocks of any good session room.
As I’ve gotten more advanced I’ve been able to notice when imposter thoughts arise, for me they show up most after intense sessions- or when I’m trying a new technique. pause and separate feelings from the facts. I ask myself:
- What evidence do I have that I’m helping my clients?
- What feedback have I received from clients, supervisors, or colleagues?
- Would I hold another therapist to the same impossible standards I’m holding myself to?
- Am I expecting certainty in a profession built around complexity and human nuance?
Does this mean to never listen to the little voice in your head?
A therapist never deals in absolutes young padawan!
Remember that questioning yourself occasionally can actually reflect humility and ethical awareness. The goal with self evaluation isn’t to eliminate self-doubt, but to prevent it from becoming louder than the evidence of your growth, training, and dedication. Competence isn’t measured by never doubting yourself—it’s demonstrated by showing up, continuing to learn, seeking consultation when needed, and remaining committed to your clients.Your presence in the session room matters more than your perfection, and your effectiveness is not determined by your inner critic.
Signed,
A Recovering Perfectionist
Sam